Lorelai the Vampire Layer
by sudsalot
Summary: Response to a challenge story to make Luke a vampire. Begins when Rory is about 13.
1. Blood on a Plate, and Elsewhere

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter One_

_Blood on a Plate, and Elsewhere_

Lorelai was pouting, and Rory was trying her best to ignore her. It was fruitless, of course, as many of the residents of Stars Hollow could verify. One could not ignore Lorelai Gilmore — she simply wouldn't allow it. And the more one tried, the harder it became. It was a challenge to Lorelai — "oh, so so-and-so thinks they can ignore me, huh?" She'd start in with faces, and comments, and, if need be, follow up with enough histrionics to rattle even a seasoned day care provider. On one legendary occasion, Taylor Doose left a town meeting before it was over with his head in his hands and wasn't seen again for eight days. Mind you, most of the town had no problem at all with that, and from then, Lorelai's reputation and folk hero status was assured. Rory, of course, had more practice trying to ignore Lorelai, but she was every bit the failure that everyone else was, so she decided to simply capitulate as she had so many times before. Maybe she could get Lorelai to simply leave her alone and let her read. Lorelai's lower lip was flopping back and forth from behind her teeth and Rory sighed deeply.

"What, mom? You can't possibly still be upset."

"But it's _Halloween_, Rory. I need my free candy, and since I'm slightly too old to go out trick-or-treating, then it's up to you. You're my supplier, honey. Deal with it."

"I'm thirteen years old, and that's too old to go from house to house competing with first graders for a pillow case full of Tootsie Rolls."

"But what am I going to do for my sugar fix?" Lorelai whined. "This house is empty, except for…_the ghosts!_"

"And quit trying to frighten me, mom. You're not that good at it."

Lorelai stuck out her tongue and went back to her classic pout. Rory stuck her nose back in her book and wondered how long the peace would last. Not long, it turned out.

"What'cha reading?" asked Lorelai after a minute.

"I'm _trying_ to read _The Pearl_, but this annoying woman keeps interrupting me."

"Don't blame me. Blame my low blood sugar."

Rory slammed the book shut. "I'll tell you what, mom. If we go to Luke's, my treat, and get you a chocolate sundae, a slice of cherry pie and a strawberry milkshake, will you come home and let me read?"

"I — "

"And stop pestering me to get you candy?" Rory interrupted.

"I swear on this copy of Steinbeck," said Lorelai with one hand on her heart and the other on _The Pearl_"Okay, let's go. And don't forget your jacket. It's cold out there."

The door slammed shut behind them and a sudden gust of frigid wind rolled over their faces. It was dark out, and a loud, sickening moan rumbled through Rory's bones, making her freeze.

"Relax, hon, it's just Babette's mummy display," said Lorelai.

"Gets me every time," said Rory. Her breath escaped her mouth in little puffy clouds against the chill October air.

They hadn't walked far when Lorelai made an observation. "You know, this _would_ be a great night to go trick-or-treating. The full moon is so bright that you can open your pillowcase and see all the little candies inside!"

"Mom, you promised…"

"Hey, I'm just saying. No pressure, unless…the _ghosts_ make you want to go!"

"Very funny, Mr. Rickles."

They kept walking, pausing to laugh as Kirk chased the Banyan boys around the gazebo. "Give me back my Razzles!" shouted Kirk. He crashed to a halt in front of Lorelai and Rory to catch his breath.

"Give it up, Kirk," said Lorelai, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Never!" said Kirk. He took a deep breath, then bolted off.

"I wonder what I got," said Lorelai, opening her hand. "Ooh, a Butterfinger. And a bag of M&M's!"

Rory was aghast. "Mom, you didn't steal Kirk's candy, did you?"

"It's not stealing," said Lorelai, "it's…it's…well, he's too _old_ to go trick-or treating."

"He's Kirk. He's Stars Hollow's own special exception to everything."

The walk resumed until they finally entered Luke's. Of all the establishments in Stars Hollows, Luke's Diner was the only one not decked out in Halloween decorations. To further the wrath of Taylor, he had a firm rule: the blinds were always tightly shut. The girls sat at their favorite table and Luke came by a moment later.

"Hey," said Lorelai. "Boy, there's a perfectly creepy full moon outside tonight."

"There is?" said Luke. He sounded startled, but quickly composed himself. "So, coffee?"

"Wow, Luke, I didn't think you did anything Halloween related."

"What do you mean?"

"The fangs, Luke. You're wearing vampire fangs."

Luke flushed red and turned around. "I went to…a party," he stammered with his back to the girls. When he turned back around, the fangs were gone.

"No need to remove them on our account," said Rory. "I'm old enough to know that vampires aren't real."

"Huh?" said Luke. He kept glancing around in different directions, like he was afraid of being watched.

"You okay, Luke?" asked Lorelai. "You're white as a…_ghost!_" She raised her arms menacingly.

"Still not scared, mom," said Rory.

"Spoilsport."

Luke was still staring into space. "Hey, service boy, how about some service?" inquired Lorelai. "I'm going to need a sugar I.V. pretty soon."

"Oh, sorry. What'll you have?" He stood there, transfixed, as he always did whenever he looked at Lorelai. He closed his eyes and could feel her limp body in his arms, running his hands over her skin, and imagine the sweet taste of her b…

"And a strawberry milkshake," finished Lorelai.

"Give me some time," said Luke. "I may have to order a new shipment to keep you satisfied."

"Then get cracking!" ordered Lorelai. Luke poured coffee, then hurried into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a chocolate sundae for Lorelai and a plate of chili fries for Rory. The girls made quick work of their first course.

"Luuuke," cried Lorelai, "I'm ready for my cherry pie!"

"Leave him alone, mom," said Rory. "He's with a customer."

"A customer? What are we, chopped liver?"

"You hate liver."

"Okay, what are we, chopped…cherry pie?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Oh, like chopped liver _does_." Lorelai was growing impatient and Rory giggled.

"How's it feel with the shoe on the other foot?"

"Oh, I see. This is a little challenge, huh?"

Luke showed up. "Thanks for waiting so patiently," he said.

"Oh, no problem," replied Lorelai. "But I had to keep Rory from sending up a flare."

"I was being sarcastic," said Luke.

"So was I."

Luke sighed. "Cherry pie?"

Lorelai nodded and Luke turned to Rory. "What about you?"

"I'm good," said Rory. "In fact, I'm going home to read." She picked up her coffee cup to finish it off, but the handle broke and the cup dropped to the table and shattered.

"I'm sorry, Luke!" said Rory. She picked up a piece of glass, but didn't see a sharp, menacing shard just below it.

"Ow!" Rory shook her hand, and blood spurted across the table.

"Here, hold it over the plate," said Luke, directing Rory's hand. "I'll get some bandages."

"Are you okay?" asked Lorelai, panicky.

"I don't know, mom. It might be pretty deep. This is a lot of blood for a superficial cut."

Luke came back with a wet towel and grasped Rory's hand. "Let me take a look," he said. He poked and prodded, causing Rory to wince in pain. "I think you need to get to the hospital. It's going to need stitches."

"Uh-oh," said Rory."

"Let's get going," said Lorelai, trying to mask her panic.

"Hang on," Luke said. "Let me get rid of this plate and I'll drive you."

Lorelai was secretly relieved. She wanted to hold Rory and baby her, not concentrate on driving. "You don't have to do that, Luke," she said, hoping he would insist.

"Sure I do. It was my lousy cup that caused this and besides, it's dead in here. Be right back."

He picked up the bloody plate and disappeared in the kitchen again. When he came back, Lorelai and Rory were standing up, wearing there coats. Luke held the door open and was just about to turn off the lights when Lorelai stopped him. She moved her hand toward Luke's face and he backed up.

"Hang on a second, Luke. You've got something on the side of your mouth." She swiped at the mark with her fingers. "I think it's…blood."

"Must have happened when Rory shook her hand," said Luke breathlessly. He stared at Lorelai, eyes wide, a scared look on his face.

"Oh, sure. Well, let's get going. We need to go to Hartford General. The local doctor isn't covered by my insurance."

And with that, they left.

* * *

The hospital was packed with Hartford's most seasoned paranoiacs, children holding their stomachs, and the young men of Alpha Kappa Gamma, suffering from a rival fraternity's prank to spike their beer with fish oil. The admitting nurse shoved a clipboard with the standard questionnaire at Lorelai, and she sulked while she filled it out. Luke made a fruitless search of the entire hospital in a fruitless search for tea, but made three separate trips for coffee refills to keep Lorelai from marching into the emergency room and threatening the entire staff. Luke kept glancing at his watch. 

"Luke, I know you have to go," said Lorelai. "Take off. I'll call my dad and we'll spend the night at my parent's house." _What am I saying? she thought. Spend a night with my parents at Hartford's version of the Bates Hotel_?

"Your dad? No!" cried Luke. He took a deep breath. "Don't worry about it," he said, much to Lorelai's relief. "I can always call Cesar and ask him to open the diner."

It took hours before Rory emerged with her hand bandaged. "Nine stitches," she said to Lorelai and Luke.

Luke glanced at his watch again. "We'd better get moving. It's going to be light soon." They piled back into Luke's truck and hit the freeway in record time.

"Hey, Mario Andretti, slow down!" said Lorelai. "We just got out of the emergency room and I don't fancy another trip there."

Luke didn't hear her. He was too busy staring at the horizon, cursing the light that was beginning to seep out from behind the mountains.

* * *

The truck screeched to a stop in the Gilmore driveway, sending gravel flying and waking Lorelai and Rory. 

"We're here!" announced Luke, and he flew out the door and sprinted to the other side. He practically pulled Lorelai from the truck, then Rory. Lorelai looked at him in disbelief.

"Luke, thanks so much for…"

"No sweat," said Luke. "Gotta go. See 'ya." He ran back to the truck and roared back to the diner, tires squealing all the way.

"Weird," said Lorelai. "Well, I'm going to sleep for fourteen hours. You should, too."

"Not until after you call in sick for me at school," said Rory, and Lorelai.

"Tomorrow," said Lorelai. "Too sleepy now."

"Tomorrow. Good idea." They went inside and fell asleep on the couch thirty seconds after Luke arrived at the diner. He burst inside and madly started closing the blinds to keep the cursed sunlight out.

"Cesar!" he yelled, "how many times do I have to tell you to keep these blinds shut!"

"I didn't know you were going to be here," said Cesar. "It's nice having a little sunlight in here."

"Well, I don't, like it," said Luke, "and I sign your checks, so keep them closed."

"Got it, Luke," said Cesar.

"Listen, I was up all night, so I'm going to bed. If you need me, give me a call."

"Why don't I just go upstairs and wake you up?"

"No. Just call me." He said it firmly, and Cesar knew he meant business.

Luke went upstairs and locked the door behind him. He removed the blankets from his bed and dumped them on the floor, then pulled off the mattress and bedspring. Recessed in the floor was a large wooden box. Luke opened it, and the hinges groaned the same way they had for 340 years. Luke got in, then closed the lid and went to sleep just as the sun was rising on Stars Hollow.


	2. The First Paul Anka

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter Two_

_The First Paul Anka_

_"Rachel — why did you ever leave me? I followed you across the world, through wars and plague and famine and the fabric of time itself. I fought for you, I killed for you — what did you expect from me? How could I show my devotion any more intensely? You loved me; you said it countless times, since the time of Molière and Spinoza when we first discovered our feelings. We were happy, and eternally young. Why the betrayal? Why Max, of all people, the man I hate, the man whose chains have me shackled for eternity? Rachel…Rachel!" _

_Luke strained to see through the thick London fog, hoping to find her amidst the confusion of softly glowing street lamps and buildings jutting into the haphazard maze of crooked streets. A scream pierced the thick air, and he sprinted in the direction of it. He turned a corner and saw a woman's body lying on the ground, immobile. He turned her over and his hands were covered in blood. The woman was dead, to Luke's relief. That meant it wasn't Rachel; she was immortal, undead — like him. Luke's mind flashed back to the morning's paper with its sensational headlines about the mysterious Jack the Ripper and knew he had struck again. The victim on the ground was another prostitute. He licked the blood off his hands and the chase began anew._

The phone rang and a very groggy Luke picked it up.

"What?" he hollered.

"Shipment's here, Luke. The deliveryman says you have to sign for it."

Luke swore under his breath. "I'll be right down, Cesar." He shook his head and tried to clear the memory of Rachel from his mind. A dull, throbbing pain had been building up for the past three days, and now it seemed worse than ever. He had expected the pain to go away completely thanks to Rory's impromptu donation, but it had only helped a little. _Probably because I didn't get it straight from the source_, he thought. That was the problem with Stars Hollow. The people, aside from Taylor, were too nice to turn into vampires, so Luke always left town for fill-ups. Of course, with the diner to run and appearances to keep up, he didn't always get away as much as he needed to stay clear-headed. That was when the headaches came, and with them was born his legendary grumpiness. He usually kept a few pints in the refrigerator for when it got unbearable. Still, he had a deep-seated need to sink his fangs into tender flesh and feel the blood coursing over his tongue in little squirts with each beat of his victim's heart. Blood in vein beat blood in vain anytime.

"Hey, Henry," said Luke when he got downstairs. "Busy day?" He was trying to remain civil, but it was a constant uphill battle.

"You know it," said Henry. He handed Luke a clipboard. "You know the drill."

Luke signed his name and was about to go into the kitchen to put away the supplies when he noticed a big ball of hair on the counter.

"What the hell?" He was about to swipe the wig off the counter with the back of his hand when it rose, revealing the face of Lorelai Gilmore beneath it.

"Hazgabah!" she said in a just-woke-up kind of daze. She opened her eyes one at a time, taking in Luke's hovering form with a certain mixture of embarrassment and panic.

"No sleeping in here!" shouted Luke. He reached below the counter, grabbed a napkin and threw it at Lorelai.

"I don't have any food," protested Lorelai. "Why in the world do I need a napkin?"

"To clean up the little puddle of drool you left on the counter," said Luke.

Lorelai flushed crimson. "Not mine," she said. Luke scowled at her and she began furiously wiping the counter.

"Done!" she announced cheerfully. She held up the soggy napkin. "Now…where do you want me to put it?" She said the last part with an attitude that made Luke want to back away from her for the rest of the day.

"Hand it over," he commanded. Lorelai did, and Luke threw it away.

"So, Luke…thanks again for last night," began Lorelai. "I really appreciate it."

"Anytime. Rory's a good kid. Believe me, I know. I grew up with a group of the laziest, most shiftless do-nothing morons you'd ever want to meet. Rory's motivated, she's going places, she…" He stopped, and realized he was gushing too much. Lorelai smiled at him, and her blood-red lips puckered just enough to make Luke take notice.

"Yeah, she is. She wants to go to Harvard. Can you imagine? Harvard! At her age, I was only interested in The Bangles and finding leg warmers in as many colors as possible."

The conversation stopped since neither of them could think of anything to say. Finally, Luke spoke.

"Coffee?" It was lame, but better than standing there like a trained monkey waiting for his handler's cue to answer the phone.

"Please," said Lorelai. "We were up so late last night that I'm just getting going."

"Yeah," Luke agreed. His mind went blank as he searched for words. _Well, back to banality_, he thought.

"We just had a delivery. Lot's of…supplies. And hey, I think we got those pickles that you like. Let me go back there and check. I mean…you _are_ having a burger, right? No sense in stopping your streak at 18 nights in a row." He smiled, thinking that the conversation, while trite, was back on the upswing.

"Coffee and a burger, that's why I'm here." The triteness ran both ways.

Luke disappeared into the kitchen. He opened a fresh package of ground beef and immediately perked up at the scent of blood. The Styrofoam package dripped a bit of thick, red juice but Luke just threw it away. He wasn't about to stoop _that_ low. As he worked the beef with his hands, he noticed something in the air…something primal, something _animal_. He thought it was just the meat, but no, it was distinctly different. The hair on his arms stood up and he sniffed at the air, trying to pinpoint the source.

"Luke! How's it coming? I'm huuungry!"

"I'm on it!" Boy, there was no pleasing that woman. He slapped the patty on the grill and got to cooking.

"Smells great," said Lorelai when Luke dropped off her plate.

Luke was thinking the same thing, but not about the food. "Enjoy — the burger," he stammered. Oh, and it turns out, I did get…" He stopped as the animal scent overpowered him. It was definitely coming from Lorelai.

"Got what?" asked Lorelai.

"Huh?"

"You got what?"

"Oh. Pickles. Sorry about that. I just remembered something I've gotta do." He turned and left, leaving Lorelai wondering what had just happened.

* * *

Luke wasn't the only one whose senses were excited during that little encounter. Lorelai sat in the diner with visions of Luke swirling around her head. The weird thing is that she had never really given him a second thought before. She had been coming here steadily for several months, and she and Luke hadn't said more to each other beyond her order until she brought Rory in. Rory was always reading a book, and Luke was always interested in what it was. He became instantly protective of her, and, as a result, he and Lorelai began talking. Still, talking wasn't anything special…not until today. Maybe he had become her hero after driving her and Rory to the hospital the night before. It was as good a theory as anything. She hadn't noticed it last night — she was too tired, and anyway, she was tending to Rory. Now, with Luke right in front of her and Rory at the library, her perception of him changed. She imagined herself running her hands over his face, his rough stubble making her fingers tingle and her pores open in response. His arms practically rippled right through the sleeves on those flannel shirts — she'd be Scarlett O'Hara and he'd be Rhett Butler, grabbing her, cradling her in those arms, and gliding up the stairs to the bedroom. He'd be the kind of lover that was both rugged when needed and gentle the rest of the time. In fact, as Lorelai was thinking about it, she was mentally checking off items on her list of ideal attributes, and Luke's entry left few items unchecked. She decided she needed more input. Rory was too young to talk about the real nitty-gritty of relationships. Mia? No, she thought of Mia as a surrogate mom, and that would be embarrassing. That left Sookie. Oh, well, Sookie seemed nice, and she and Lorelai were starting to get on well during their frequent drives to the doctor to get Sookie's latest trauma attended to. Lorelai made a mental note to talk to Sookie the next day, and she then she finished her dinner and left for home.

* * *

She was nearly there when she heard a slight rumbling in the bushes to the side. A grayish dog trotted up to her. He wagged his tail and his eyes seemed to twinkle in the soft glow of dusk.

"Hey there," said Lorelai. "You're a friendly fella."

The tail wagging continued, but now the dog put its face against her thigh and pushed.

"What is it? Are you hungry?"

The dogs head tilted slightly to the left as though to say "I don't _quite_ understand what you're saying, lady."

Lorelai put out her hand and the dog sniffed her fingers and licked her palm, coating her hand with a generous layer of doggie saliva.

"Well, come on," said Lorelai, "I should have some Chinese leftovers in the fridge that you're sure to like." The dog followed her to the porch, but made his way inside after Lorelai didn't close the door all the way.

"Whoops," said Lorelai when she saw the dog at her feet. She opened the back door. "Go and wait on the porch," she said, offering a helpful finger pointing out the direction. The dog didn't budge.

"Shoo!"

No response. The dog wasn't about to budge without food, so Lorelai put some chicken chow mein on a newspaper. The dog devoured it, of course. By the time Rory came home from the library, Lorelai was asleep on the couch and the dog was asleep on her.

"Mom!" The dog woke and jumped off the couch. Lorelai sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Do you like him?" said Lorelai. "I was thinking of calling him Paul Anka."

Rory took a good look at the dog. "Get rid of it!" she shrieked.

"Rory, what's the matter? You don't like our new dog?"

"That's not a dog, it's a wolf!"

"A wolf? No, it's not. It's a Siberian Husky or something."

Rory ran up the stairs. "Get it out of here!" she shouted, nearly hysterical.

"Okay," said Lorelai. She got up and opened the door. This time, the dog went outside right away and disappeared into the nearest bush.

Rory was poking her head out the bathroom door. "He's gone," Lorelai announced. "Come on out, Rory."

"It better not be hanging around the house, mom. I'm not kidding; maybe you should call Taylor or something."

"Honey, listen, I'm not calling Taylor. That dog is totally harmless. It's not a wolf. Trust me, Rory. Don't worry about it, okay?"

It wasn't okay with Rory, but it was enough to get her to go downstairs. Outside, Luke emerged from the bush feeling bad that he had frightened Rory.

* * *

The next morning, Lorelai made a pretense of needing a cup of coffee (though everyone in town knew it was no pretense) and ambled into the kitchen. Sookie was chopping vegetables and directing the kitchen staff with the precision of a university marching band during the Rose Bowl halftime show.

"Sookie, want to go to lunch today?" asked Lorelai. "I was thinking we could head over to Luke's. I hear his hamburgers are so good they could get Ronald McDonald to turn traitor."

"Sure, that sounds good. But hey, if you want a good hamburger, I know this place in Hartford…"

"I want to go to Luke's," interrupted Lorelai.

"Really? Luke's?" She might as well have pinched her nostrils shut with her fingers.

"What have you got against Luke's?"

"Nothing, really. The food is good and all, but…you know me, I'm a gourmet chef, I put garlic in everything. Luke can't stand it. One time I brought in my own to add to his pasta sauce and he freaked. I thought he was going to hit me."

"Well, can you stand a meal without garlic for once? I want you to check something out."

"Oh? What? You interested in Luke or something?"

"I don't know. I might be. And I need your help."

That was all Sookie needed to hear. They left for the diner, and this time, Luke knew she was coming from a mile away.

_To be continued…_


	3. Learning About Rachel

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter Three_

_Learning About Rachel  
_

_It was a view Luke always had trouble getting used to. High above the woods, soaring among the swarm of bats, the trees looking like nothing more than shrubs, and always searching for the elusive Rachel. It had been more than 80 years since she left without a word, and Luke was undeterred. He thought he was on the right track in Constantinople, on Crete, in St. Petersburg, Kyoto and San Francisco. So many false leads, so much squandered time! But time was something he had plenty of, and patience, too. It was in him as deeply as with St. Francis of Assisi, and he kept looking, kept asking questions, kept hoping against all odds that she would be back in his arms one day soon. _

_His ears picked up the trail first. It was the echo that allow bats to see, the distinct Rachel echo he hadn't experienced since the French Revolution, when the guillotine's blade made the streets run red and attracted vampires and their ilk in droves. Still, it came back to him as though he had first experienced it only the day before. He descended as rapidly as a bat can, and hit the ground on all fours, using his wolf's keen sense of smell to find her. The scent grew stronger, and Luke picked up speed. But his senses were playing tricks on him; it seemed as though Rachel's scent surrounded him. He stopped and held his nose up, then began turning around in circles as though chasing his tail. Suddenly he heard it; a faint cry for help! _

"_Luke!"_

_He approached a clearing in the woods, and heard the cry again. "Rachel!" he shouted, "I'm here!" _

"_And I'm here too," said Max. He held Rachel in his arms and his fangs glistened in the moonlight. Before Luke could react, he drove them into Rachel's neck and greedily swallowed her blood. Even in the dim light, Luke could see Max's face, freshly stained red, with Rachel's very essence dripping down his chin. She was Max's now, a slave in every sense of the word, and Luke knew it. He charged Max, and in his rage, he didn't see the blunderbuss that Max was concealing. The shot tore into Luke's chest, and he was propelled backward, his head crunching into a tree, his consciousness slipping quickly away with Rachel's cries. _

_When he awoke, he was alone. His chest had healed, though the pain remained and it made his breathing tortured. He looked around, trying to find some clue to help him ascertain Rachel's path, but there were no footprints, no bushes hastily brushed aside, not even the lingering scent of Rachel or her blood. It was just before the first light of day and he hurried to find shelter from the dreaded sun. Soon he discovered a path in the woods that led to a crude road. He followed it, always keeping an eye on the horizon, and shortly arrived at a town. He tore through the streets and happened across a man who seemed to be surveying the surroundings. _

"_Well, hello, stranger," said the man, extending his hand. "What brings you to our fair town this morning?"_

"_I'm looking for a place to stay," said Luke. _

"_Then look no further. The local blacksmith owns an Inn just a half mile hence." He pointed toward the east and the rising sun. _

"_Perfect," said Luke. "Say, what's the name of this town?"_

"_Stars Hollow," said the man. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name's Jameson Doose."_

* * *

On the way to the diner, Lorelai told Sookie about all that had happened when Rory cut her hand. She emphasized that she felt nothing more than her usual friendship with Luke when the day ended, and it was only after seeing him the next day that she began to realize he was the sort of man she could take a serious interest in.

"Oh, yeah," said Sookie. "Luke's a legend in town. Every woman who's ever been in that diner has lusted after him. He's just so…so _Luke. _Don't look at me like that, you've heard the thunderbolts now, so you know what I mean. Anyway, we all thought it was a done deal when you started going to the diner regularly. No one expected to be able to compete with you. Still, nothing ever seemed to happen between you and Luke, so there's _still_ hope, I guess. Of course, with your sights set on him now, maybe it _is_ a done deal."

"What? Who thought that?"

"All of us. Babette, Miss Patty, Mrs. Dackafrack, Gypsy, Taylor."

"Taylor?"

"He was the first one who brought it up. You had just moved to town and you went to the market. He saw you and told us you were having a whole conversation by yourself about Twinkies versus Ho-Hos. He told Miss Patty that you were pretty and funny and charming, and Luke would go for you in a minute. Sounded like jealousy to me. We all rolled our eyes a bit, until he said he thought his "niece" might be interested in Luke. No one believed it, but no one said anything, either."

"That's just creepy," said Lorelai. "I sure hope he doesn't break his leg and sit in a wheelchair all day with a telescope."

"Aha! _Rear Window!_" said Sookie. "Finally, a reference I got."

They arrived at Luke's. Lorelai peered inside to see how busy it was. She figured that if she was destined to embarrass herself it would be in front of only a few people. She and Sookie picked a table and a few seconds later, Luke showed up, coffee pot at the ready. He had been in a kind of daze, probing for Lorelai's scent, and when she showed up, it was like catnip, and he pounced.

"How have you been?" he asked, trying to keep the lust out of his voice. _How do you do that?_ he had asked himself, and the answer came back _Don't make eye contact. Don't let her scent overwhelm you. Think of garlic. You hate garlic! _He poured coffee and silently cursed the fact that Sookie came along. The moment he had picked up Lorelai's scent he had been planning on figuring out a way to get closer to her. The wolf thing didn't exactly work, though lying with his head on her lap had kicked his hormones into overdrive. Her hands were so _soft_, and when she petted him, he couldn't keep his tail in check. It kept swishing back and forth against the wooden couch frame, and, if he could manage to see behind himself, he'd hardly be surprised at the bruise on his butt. Finally, Lorelai replied.

"Good, good, thanks. You?"

"Good. I've been good."

"I've been good too," piped in Sookie. Lorelai kicked her under the table.

"Well, call me when you've decided," said Luke, retreating into the kitchen.

"So?" asked Lorelai when Luke was gone, "what do you think, Sookie?"

"Oh, yeah, he's totally into you," said Sookie.

"It showed?" Lorelai was both incredulous and overjoyed.

"Of course not! Are you kidding? There's more heat in the walk-in refrigerator at work than with you and Luke. What were you expecting me to see, anyway?"

"I don't know. I guess I expected him to have some sort of…_aura _or something about him. I know that when I was here yesterday, it was almost overwhelming. I couldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate. I even called my mother, just to get Luke out of my mind completely. It worked, too. A few minutes of her trashing my life, my personality my clothes and my job was just the trick."

"Well," said Sookie, "I can tell you that any woman with a pulse thinks Luke is hot. And as far as I know, he hasn't dated anyone since Rachel."

That brought Lorelai to full alert. She couldn't imagine Luke with anyone else. Not since yesterday, and that experience that she still couldn't define.

"Rachel?" she asked, trying not to sound jealous. It didn't work.

"Luke's girlfriend. She up and took off last year. Again. She's never stays very long. Luke goes a little off the deep end when she's here, though. He's _very_ distracted, but as far as I know, she shows up unexpectedly, they spend a lot of time together, he gets all worked up, and then she leaves and he takes a day off to go fishing. He comes back in a fouler mood than usual and it takes a few days for him to get back to being his normally gruff self."

"And Rachel does that to him?" Lorelai was wondering what kind of sway Rachel had over Luke to affect him so profoundly. It _had_ to be something sexual.

"It's the current theory," said Sookie. "Taylor used to say he thought Luke must have been bitten by a rabid bat, but I think he was just mad at Luke. He usually is. The fights they've had…" Sookie trailed off, laughing a bit.

"So, Luke hasn't dated anyone in Stars Hollow?"

"I don't think so. Miss Patty or Babette would know for sure." Sookie continued to babble on, but Lorelai was lost in thought. She knew that her newfound attraction to Luke was genuine, and in that revelation, she was beginning to feel jealous. It didn't make sense, but jealousy seldom does. She'd need to find out as much as she could about Rachel, but that might prove to be an uphill battle considering Rachel's flightiness. On the other hand, Babette would surely know. Lorelai and Rory hadn't lived in Stars Hollow proper for long, but their next-door neighbor was a legendary gossip. She could surely fill Lorelai in on all the goings-on between Luke and Rachel. Lorelai shook her head to clear her mind as Babette rambled on…

* * *

Luke had disappeared, and lunch, both cooked and served by Cesar, was good, but missing that little touch of Lucasian magic that Lorelai had begun to detect. A spice here, an ingredient there, and Luke's burgers were on their own geometrical plane.

"Ready to go?" asked Sookie.

"Sure," said Lorelai. "Just let me get one more coffee to go."

The walk back to the Inn was mostly silent. Finally, Sookie broke it by saying "I'm sorry, Lorelai. If you're really interested in Luke, maybe you should just…you know, _talk_ to him. I didn't see any real passion between you, but if you felt something and he didn't, maybe you just need to flirt it up a bit. He'll come around – if he isn't holding a torch for Rachel, that is."

As soon as she said that, Sookie regretted it. "Don't think that hasn't occurred to me," said Lorelai. "I don't want to make a fool of myself by coming on to Luke and all this time he's got something going with Rachel. I wouldn't be able to look him in the face again."

"I'm sure that's happened before. You shouldn't worry about it. You don't have to ask him out, just flirt. Innocent stuff, see if he comes around."

"That's a good idea. I can do that. I just wish that I knew more about Rachel, that's all. I wish I knew more without having to bare my soul to Babette, because if she's the gossip everyone says she is, not only would I learn about Rachel, but all of Stars Hollow would learn about my feelings for Luke."

They were back at work and Lorelai thanked Sookie for going to lunch with her. But she was having trouble concentrating as visions of Luke kissing Rachel kept filling her mind. As it turned out, she was about to learn more about Rachel very soon, and right from the source.

* * *

Luke had heard everything that Lorelai and Sookie said over lunch. His heart had soared at the prospect of entering into a new relationship. It had been so long since he and Rachel had made love that the pact between them could be dismissed. He had to move on, even Rachel could see that.

"_No!_" he said to himself. "_What am I doing? I told Rachel I'd be faithful to her until the end of time. I can't fall in love with Lorelai – I can't! I'm tied to this life, and she's not. She's free of the burden that vampirism brings, and I can't bring myself to drag her into the fold. Besides, she deserves someone who doesn't need to drink blood. And she has Rory, too. I can't take her from Rory. They don't deserve that kind of life._

What did not occur to him was that what he just described was proof enough that he loved Lorelai. Before long, things would be out of his hands.

_To be continued…_


	4. With One Long Kiss

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter Four_

…_With One Long Kiss_

_The search continued, fruitlessly. Luke's search boundary was small; he couldn't afford to be gone for long, or the people of Stars Hollow would soon suspect something. "Maybe they already do," he often wondered. No one had ever seen Luke in the same room as his father, or his father in the same room as his grandfather. Perhaps Taylor knew that every Danes for generations past were all the same Luke, features age-adjusted, personality altered just enough to ward off suspicion. But Taylor was suspicious of everyone and everything, and if he did know, Luke figured he would have overreacted and called in Buffy long ago. He laughed at the lame joke, but it had a grain of truth to it. If Taylor knew, or even if he only suspected, Luke would simply have to silence him. A quick, stabbing thrust to the neck would take care of Taylor in a flash. But although Luke's thoughts were now about Taylor, they always began and ended with Rachel. _

_So the search went on, until that fateful day when Rachel first walked into the diner. She stood there, looking as beautiful as she had the moment he first spied her in the gardens at Versailles. Luke and Rachel spent the next few days in bed, with a hastily produced 'Gone Fishing' sign protecting the diner. They felt the release of years of pent-up love and lust, and they felt it again and again as their love manifested itself in a thousand different ways. And finally, their passion temporarily sated, Luke spoke. _

"_How did you manage to get rid of Max?" he innocently asked while twirling a lock of Rachel's hair around his finger and smelling it. She pushed his hand away and turned toward the wall, the silence saying more than any words could. Less than an hour later, Rachel was gone and Luke was still in bed, gasping, trying futilely to figure out what had happened. He told himself that the search was over; he realized that no matter how often she showed up, Rachel would never be entirely his. Still, whenever she re-appeared, his heart soared. It was an automatic reflex, and he spent a few days driving reason away by entertaining thoughts of their reconciliation. But each visit ended the same way, and the hurt never dissipated for good. And now, with Lorelai so near, so available, so sweet and so sensuous, his longing for Rachel was rapidly ebbing away. He was torn between his emerging love for Lorelai and bittersweet longing caused by so many years apart from Rachel. He wandered the streets at night, ashamed that he could conquer neither passion and wondering how fate would play itself out. Yet each night, as he dragged his body back to the diner and prepared for another soul-drenching day, it always came back to Rachel. _

_And so he searched, knowing that Lorelai was off-limits; his only loyalty would be to Rachel. There were no other women he was remotely interested in, and he tried to convince himself that somehow he could free Rachel from Max's grip. He soared, high above Connecticut, night after night, hoping that this night Rachel was close enough for him to find. _

_And suddenly, there it was; the Rachel echo again, filling his ears with sound and his heart with joy. He could feel his heart beating in rhythm with the echo as he dropped to the ground. He probed for her, and soon came to a familiar clearing within some trees. It was the same place that Max had ambushed him before, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he prepared for another brutal encounter. Yet he sensed nothing; Rachel's scent has disappeared utterly. Then he saw it – a lone figure lying on the grass, her shape lighted by an accommodating moonbeam. Rachel! Her scent returned, but weakly, and little sparks of light seemed to leap from the ends of her hair. Luke ran to her, grabbed her in his arms and held her close. _

_She was barely breathing. He laid her on her back, ready to start CPR. A gentle voice broke the silence. _

"_Luke!"_

_He gazed into her eyes, and the shock of it made him tremble. He spoke back, softly. _

"_Lorelai!"_

* * *

Luke was wandering around the apartment above the diner, trying to come to terms with the dream from which he had just awakened. He could still see Lorelai's face fresh in his mind – that _had_ to mean something. He thought back to the dream. There was no question that he had been searching for Rachel – nothing new there. There was no mistaking Rachel's scent when he finally pinpointed it and no doubt that he had followed it to Lorelai. He replayed the dream in his memory again and again, and then, suddenly, he remembered a small, overlooked detail: the moment he realized the woman in the dream was Lorelai and not Rachel, he also noted that her scent had changed. One infinitesimally small moment seemed to have brought about a complete reversal of his feelings. Sure it was a dream, but Luke had been dreaming for over 300 years and he imparted great meaning to them. And yes, this was well-trod territory; the issue was supposedly settled in Rachel's favor. Still, his subconscious mind was trying to relay to him that Lorelai now meant more to him than Rachel did and suddenly Luke was torn between possibilities again. He honestly did not want to bring Lorelai into his lifestyle, but there was simply no way to make her his lover without her learning all and turning into a vampire herself in the bargain. That was another thing his years of experience had taught him; past mistakes were just that – past, and he would be a fool to repeat them. So he was back to getting Rachel away from Max and living in immortal bliss or taking Lorelai away from her mortal existence and screwing up Rory in the process. But nothing lasts forever, and Luke, for reasons he could not discern, still could not make up his mind between Rachel and Lorelai. Lorelai's passion for Luke continued unabated, but somewhere deep in her psyche she could not ask him out. She had thought about it numerous times, but each time her mother's voice in her head popped up and was impossible to ignore. "Lorelai Gilmore, we did not bring you up to do something as wanton as asking out a boy," said the voice of fear, and Lorelai always obeyed, despite the foolishness of it all. She wondered if Luke would ever ask her, of course, but she was human after all, and when an attractive teacher at Rory's school named Max asked her out, she found herself accepting despite a long list of reservations. Things became serious rather quickly and when Luke saw them acting lovey-dovey, in the middle of a mid-winter's Connecticut snowfall, he was crushed. _I blew it,_ he thought over and over, and he tried to console himself with the idea of continuing the search for Rachel. But time, so cruel to mortals, was kind to vampires, and Luke knew that as long as Lorelai didn't impulsively marry her new boyfriend, he'd have other opportunities to win her love, if he actually made up his mind to concentrate on her. And fate took a hand as well as Lorelai, under pressure from Rory to stop dating her teacher, broke up with Max, unbeknownst to Luke. And that's the way things stood until that fateful day when all of Stars Hollow, it seemed, was in love.

* * *

Luke was upstairs getting the day's money out of the safe. He was in a bad mood, of course. Taylor was showing up at the diner several times a day to pester him about his lack of enthusiasm for the Founder's Firelight Festival and Luke was ready to take hostages the next time Taylor showed up. A voice echoed from downstairs. 

"Luke! I just let in the first customers!"

"Be right there, Cesar," replied Luke. It was time to face another day of uncertainty. He grimaced when he realized that his first customers were the always arguing Taylor and Miss Patty. The grimace turned into an evil, menacing scowl with eyes shooting out hate rays and blood dripping from his fangs when he realized they were _still_ talking about the insipid festival (well, not really, but that's the way Luke imagined it). _Seriously,_ he wondered, _when is the town going to get over this festival fetish? They'd have a festival of cardigan sweaters if Taylor wanted it. _Suddenly, Luke's head tilted to the side as a familiar scent filled the air. A moment later, Lorelai walked in with a demeanor that matched Luke's in every morose detail. She slammed herself into a seat at the counter, and began to chatter at high speed about a recent near-death experience with a papier-mâché star. Luke wasn't listening all that closely (his mind was filled with the idea of marching up the stairs with Lorelai in his arms), but he poured her a cup of coffee and tried to be supportive.

"So," said Lorelai, "I'm planning on despising anyone who says 'hey, how's it going.'"

Luke had barely enough time to agree to do the same when Rachel's voice cut through the air. She had entered the diner silently and was standing directly behind Lorelai. Luke couldn't believe that she has slipped in under his radar.  
"Hey, how's it going?" she asked, sending Lorelai into a subdued frenzy and Luke into a frenzied daze.

"Rachel," he muttered, barely above a whisper.

"Your Rachel?" Lorelai asked. Luke nodded, and Lorelai turned to face Rachel.

"You're Rachel?" she inquired. Rachel nodded, and Lorelai felt an intense pang of jealousy pulsating through her bones. Luke's pangs were, to be sure, south of his belt, and he was struggling to keep the blood flow under control. He took a step back, and swallowed heavily while staring at his shoes. A moment passed, a mere second among the centuries he had been alive, but in Luke's mind, it was as though the fabric of time had simply ceased.

When he looked up again, he realized that everything had changed. He was looking at Rachel, the one he had been pursuing for so many years, and now, with her in the diner again, flesh and blood – such good blood! – he realized at last that she didn't compare to Lorelai. He looked at Rachel and felt nothing. He looked at Lorelai and immediately understood her reaction to Rachel's presence. He wanted to hold Lorelai, stroke her hair, explain to her that his love for Rachel was but a remnant of a distant past and show her that she was his new, true and eternal love. His feelings for Rachel flew away on bat's wings, never to emerge again, he was sure. Fate had intervened and made his decision for him. Now, all he had to do was to figure out a way to bring Lorelai into his life and not hurt Rory in the bargain.

* * *

Later that day, Lorelai was sitting in her room in a daze. She had just gotten home from dinner with her parents (Rory hadn't attended; she was off on a 3-month anniversary date with her boyfriend, Dean). Lorelai was still wondering how her mother had gotten the gall to try to set her up with a perfect bore named Chase, and she was so desperate to escape the onslaught of insurance talk that she climbed out the window and laughed all the way home. She was now busy thinking about the day's events. She had reacted unexpectedly to Rachel's presence and she wondered why. She expected Rachel would show up again one day (Sookie had told her it happened over and over), but instead of the fierce pangs of jealousy she had prepared herself for, the reality was rather different. The jealousy was there, but subdued (at least in relation to her expectations) and Lorelai actually found herself missing Max. She had even mentioned it to Rory earlier, and now, with it fresh in her mind, she decided that maybe the whole Luke thing was overblown in her memory. In fact, that mysterious episode of intense lust for Luke had not recurred and Lorelai began to wonder if she had imagined it all. And before she knew it, two things happened: Rory and Dean broke up, and Lorelai showed up at Max's door, ready for reconciliation. 

But as much as Luke's mind was made up about Lorelai, Rachel _was_ in town, and he was too much the gentleman to dump her and turn his attention to Lorelai. Rachel's birthday was near, and Luke, his usual taste abandoning him, went to _Le Chat Club_ to shop for her. He ran into Lorelai on the way out, and, after laughing at the cat-themed potholders Luke had purchased, she volunteered to do the shopping for him. But something took hold of her, and she returned to the diner with not only a few well-chosen gifts for Rachel, but an entire new wardrobe for Luke. She convinced him that it would make him look better on his dates with Rachel, and she convinced herself of the same. But that all changed the moment that Luke put the suit on and showed it to Lorelai. That feeling that Luke was everything she ever wanted burst back into prominence at the forefront of her thoughts.

"Oh my God, Luke, is that you?" she teased. "The suit looks great. Here, have a look." She reached into her purse and pulled out a compact mirror. She handed it to Luke and he hesitated for a moment, then took it. He glanced at the mirror, said "nice," and held it out toward Lorelai.

"That's it?" she said. "A whole one second glance at a mirror and you're good to go?"

"You were right," Luke said, "it's fine. But even if it wasn't, it's just not me."

"Nonsense," said Lorelai, taking the mirror. "Maybe you just need to see how good you'd look standing next to Rachel." She walked over and stood next to Luke and held up the mirror before he realized what she was doing. He reached for the mirror but Lorelai snatched it away too quickly. She looked at Luke and took a deep breath.

"You don't have a reflection," she announced slowly.

"Shh!" he said, glancing around the diner to see if anyone overheard her. No one had.

"We need to talk, Luke. The sooner, the better."

"I can't talk now," said Luke. "The dinner rush will be here soon."

"What about tonight?"

"I'll stop by at your place at 9:30, Lorelai."

"OK. See you then."

* * *

Luke was prompt, of course, and Lorelai was waiting for him. The moment she saw his form outlined in her porch light, she opened the door and met him outside. "Let's talk out here," she said, and before he could reply, she grabbed his hands and led him to a couple of chairs on the side of the house. _Nice hands,_ Lorelai thought, and she fought the temptation to bring them up to her cheeks and close her eyes. _Man's hands – rugged, slightly coarse – the hands of a man that works wonders with his hands._

"Why here?" asked Luke as he sat down.

"I don't want you turning into a wolf again and freaking Rory out," Lorelai said.

"You figured it out, huh?"

"It wasn't hard. Once I realized you had no reflection, the rest clicked into place. Rory's blood on your mouth. Hurrying to get home before sunrise. The wolf in my living room. So you're a vampire. What other explanation could there be?"

"You're not afraid?" asked Luke.

"Why should I be? You've never done anything to harm me or Rory. I trust you."

Luke had a feeling this was the opening he had been searching for. He leaned toward Lorelai and kissed her, softly, then harder as he pulled her towards him. She wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss, using her tongue to deftly part his lips. When they finally parted, she gasped, then dove in for another long embrace. And then another. And another, until a mere half-hour remained before sunrise and Luke insisted on taking the little time he had left to explain things to Lorelai.

"We can't be lovers unless you submit to being a vampire, too. It just doesn't work that way. I wish there was some way around it."

"Hey, I'm game. I look great in black lipstick and nail polish, and I can learn to like clove cigarettes." She laughed. "Hey, when you're in the mood for something that taste's great, but is less filling, do you drink plasma? You know, blood light?"

"I pour my heart out to you, tell you my deepest secrets, and you make _fun_ of me?" Luke complained through a smile.

"Hey, what about Rachel?" said Lorelai. "How's she going to take it?"

"She's gone," said Luke. "She saw you helping me with my belt and realized that there was something going on between us. It's okay. She wasn't the right ghoul anyway."

Lorelai snorted. "I guess you know all the vampire jokes, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." He glanced at his watch. "I've got to go, Lorelai. Think about it, okay?"

"Kiss me before you go?"

"Love to."

Then kiss ended, and Luke was about to leave, but something in Lorelai's expression piqued his curiosity.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked. "You seem so far away."

"I was thinking of some lines I read from a poem that Rory was studying recently.

'_Once he drew with one long kiss my whole soul through my lips.' _"

"That's Tennyson," Luke said. It's only part of the stanza, though. It goes:

'_Last night, when some one spoke his name,  
From my swift blood that went and came  
A thousand little shafts of flame  
Were shiver'd in my narrow frame.  
O Love, O fire! once he drew  
With one long kiss my whole soul thro'  
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew._

It's a favorite among vampires," Luke explained.

"From my swift blood?" asked Lorelai.

"Yes."

She took his left hand with her right and looked him in the eyes, seeing the passion and sensitivity that lurked within them.

"Take it, Luke. Take my blood." She moved her hair to one side, exposing her neck, and Luke's fangs glistened in the fading moonlight…

_To be continued…_


	5. Descent

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter Five_

_Descent _

_It was the same view that Luke, in bat form, had experienced many times over the centuries, but this time, it wasn't a single pair of eyes surveying the ground, but many. High over Connecticut, swarming amidst the thick fog, looking not for true love, as Luke had, but for alimentum, victus – sustenance. Blood. What was different about this frenzy of bats was that the human factor was utterly ignored. They didn't care about the carnage they left behind – the shattered lives, the heartbreak, the souls twisted to an evil and irrevocable purpose. They cared only for blood, and they would do anything to get it. _

_They swooped from the sky en masse, their black forms silhouetted against the twilight sky in grotesque patterns. They charged their victims and greedily devoured their life source in gluttonous gulps. No one was safe from their determined bloodlust – they tore off the tops of cars as easily as they flew through an open window. The victims they left behind were transmogrified to mere shells of their former selves, clawing at their own necks, trying futilely to stave off the migration of their souls. They could be preyed upon again and again and, of course, they would soon become predators themselves as the thirst for blood overcame all else. The bats cackled evilly as they deserted their victims in search of fresh ones. And then, as suddenly as the sun emerging from behind a cloud, their leader stopped in mid-flight. His radar had picked up something - an echo from his past that intrigued him. A momentary hesitation, then his ears twittered in recognition. He would not let his enemy get away so easily this time. He beckoned to the swarm to find a cave and take shelter until the night, when they would be free to pursue their elusive target again. _

_A mile away, in Stars Hollow, Luke Danes' fangs were about to sink into Lorleai Gilmore's neck when his own radar detected the swarm. He surveyed the sky, listening intently for clues. The swarm's altitude decreased steadily; they were seeking shelter from the approaching sun, no doubt. _

_The vampires were descending upon Stars Hollow. _

"Mom!" Rory's voice had a trace of desperation to it and Lorelai turned to face her.

"What are you doing out here?" Rory asked. She was standing there in her bedclothes and bare feet, shivering. Lorelai spun her head around, but Luke had disappeared.

"I was just – thinking," said Lorelai quickly. "I woke up with a headache and I thought some fresh air might help."

"Did you take anything for it?" asked Rory. "Knowing you, it's probably just caffeine withdrawal."

"I took a couple of Tylenol. I feel pretty good, now that the march of the wooden soldiers went looking for another victim."

"Good." Rory looked at her hands as though she was surprised they were empty. "Oh, yeah," she said, "do you know where my tie is?"

"No," said Lorelai, standing up, "but I'll help you look for it. Now let's get inside before you get frostbite."

"OK, but start the coffee before we look for my tie. We've gotta maintain our Gilmoreish sensibilities."

"What an excellent idea," said Lorelai.

* * *

Once Rory left for school, Lorelai ran into the bathroom and peered intently into the mirror. She moved her head back and forth, trying to catch the light at just the right angle. Finally, she could see two faint, pale red spots on her neck. She rubbed the area, feeling nothing. _I guess his fangs didn't pierce the skin,_ she thought. She dropped on the bed, her face staring at the ceiling. _Oh, my God,_ _what did I almost do? _she wondered. _I was willing to become a vampire for the sake of - well, the hottest man in Connecticut. Thank God for Rory!_ _Luke or not, I can't live that life. I can't become some sort of bloodsucking freak that my own daughter would fear._ She moped around her room for a while, toying with the idea of simply never showing up at the diner again. The diner. Luke, the hotness. She felt flush, and she knew her cheeks were turning red even without looking in the mirror. All the hotness was coming back, and she felt a little dizzy. _Maybe I can ask how he copes with it, _she asked herself. _He must have lots of tips – it can't __**all**__ be they way it is in the movies. Maybe there's something I don't know. There has to be. _Suddenly she was picturing herself in Luke's arms again, his gaze burning into her soul, and then his fangs gently sucking her blood. She shivered at his touch, trembled at his kisses, melted at the tingling sensation of blood leaving her veins and quivered as her heart pumped harder to make up for it. She placed her hand on her chest, uncertain if the pounding she felt was due to lust or trepidation. She looked again at the spots on her neck and, not wanting to take chances, she took a chain out of her dresser and wore it around her neck. It seemed to hide the spots effectively. She sighed deeply and then went to work.

* * *

The day passed slowly. Lorelai spent most of the time doing busywork, but that didn't translate into time miraculously going any faster and she grew depressed. _Ennui_ was a word that Michel used when he was down, and Lorelai found that it suited her mood perfectly. She shuffled from the kitchen to the foyer to the yard and back to the kitchen muttering _ennui _under her breath. It didn't help. She wanted only to go to Luke's after he closed and see what happened. Would the overpowering animal lust she felt for him overcome her good sense? Could anything Luke had to say about his lifestyle convince her to take the plunge into full-blooded vampirism? She winced at the unintended pun, and made herself busy by dusting the front desk for the fifteenth time. 

"Out with it!" said Sookie from behind her.

"Out with what?" said Lorelai, as innocently as she could muster.

"_It_. Whatever it is that's bugging you." She grabbed Lorelai's arm and pulled her to the side, away from the ears of customers. "Is it Luke?" she asked with a giggle. "It's Luke, right? You guys had a little of the old bump and grind?" Sookie swerved her hips in her best Elvis a la Ron Jeremy impression.

Lorelai paused for a moment before answering. She was decidedly _not_ going to tell Sookie about Luke's secret, no matter how good a friend she was. "We didn't get together – yet," she said. "But I _did_ have a pretty torrid dream about him."

"Tell!" Sookie shrieked at the top of her lungs, causing several customers to stop in their tracks, wondering if they needed to call 911. Lorelai led Sookie to the office. She sat on the edge of the desk and blushed a bit.

"Well," Lorelai began," let's just say that dream Luke is even hotter than real Luke."

"Impossible!" said Sookie.

"Oh, yeah," said Lorelai. "In fact, Luke is the wrong name for him. It should be Hugh."

Sookie thought for a second. "Like Hugh Grant?" she offered. Lorelai shook her head.

"More like Hugh G. Rection," she said and Sookie started laughing so hard she had to bend over to work out the cramp in her side. "I mean," Lorelai continued, "at one point, I was giving him a hand, you know. My _God._ It was like playing the trombone." Sookie almost fell on the floor laughing and Lorelai was thankful for that part of her that could make up stories on the spot.

* * *

_Night fell on Stars Hollow, and although the vampires were in their usual manic state, their leader admonished them to remain calm. "I have waited for this for some time," he said, "so another night or two won't matter. I'm going to approach this act of vengeance carefully, so tonight my instructions are to go forth and feed, and leave me in contemplative peace. Return with an untapped one for me to feed on, though, and remember that I hold your fate in my hands, and it would be disastrous for you to fail me. Now, fly!" And the vampires launched themselves into the cool Connecticut air._

* * *

Lorelai entered Luke's about a half-hour before closing. She sat at the counter and Luke hurried over the minute he saw her. 

"I was wondering whether you'd stop by," he said. Without asking, he poured a cup of coffee for Lorelai. She took a sip, then said "maybe we can go upstairs and talk?"

"Sure," said Luke, "but it'll have to be after I close. I'm on my own today."

"OK," said Lorelai. "How about some chili fries while I wait?"

Luke shook his head. "How is it you don't weigh 300 pounds?" he asked. "You eat more than anyone I've ever known. And nothing you eat is healthy – nothing at all."

"It's part of my mystique," said Lorelai. "Don't worry, you find it charming."

"It won't be so charming in a couple of years when I'm feeding you milk for your ulcer."

"Milk for an ulcer is an old-wives tale, Luke. It's actually bad for ulcers."

"I know," said Luke.

Lorelai ignored him. "Extra onions," she said without missing a beat.

"Oh, you're _so_ not getting kissed tonight," said Luke.

Lorelai turned bright red. "Skip the onions," she said meekly and Luke disappeared into the kitchen. When he came back the diner was empty and Lorelai was flipping through an old copy of _People_ magazine. Luke put the fries down just out of Lorelai's reach and turned the _open_ sign on the door to say _closed._

"Before you eat these things, let's say a proper hello," Luke said.

Lorelai put down the magazine. "What do you have in mind?"

"Just this," said Luke, and he leaned forward and cupped the back of Lorelai's head with his right hand. He pulled her toward himself slowly. She closed her eyes and then felt his lips on hers. It was every bit as great as earlier and Lorelai quickly forgot her earlier arguments against a relationship. If it was going to be like this – and even hotter in the bedroom, she was sure – she'd have no objections at all. Luke ran his hand over her neck and brushed her hair to the side even as his fangs were starting to protrude.

"Aah!" Luke shouted. Lorelai snapped her eyes open.

"What's wrong, Luke?"

"It burns," he said. Lorelai moved his hand away from his face and saw a bright red plus sign on his cheek. She fingered the chain around her neck, too late to keep Luke from seeing it.

"You're wearing a cross around your neck?" he said. "Don't you know how dangerous that is to me?"

"I didn't think!" said Lorelai, nearly petrified from the idea of hurting Luke. "I just put it on to cover the fang marks on my neck." She quickly took it off her neck and put it in her jeans pocket.

"That's better," Luke said with a sigh. "Shall we try this again?"

The bell on the door rang just as Luke was closing his eyes. "We're closed," he said without opening them. Lorelai turned around in her chair to see who had come in.

"Dad?" she said, "what are _you_ doing here?"

Luke opened his eyes and he was so startled he could only manage to utter a single word.

"Max."

_To be continued..._


	6. Wait a Minute

_Lorelai the Vampire Layer_

_Chapter Six_

…_Wait a Minute…_

"Max?" said Lorelai. "My dad's name is Richard."

"Luke, who is this woman?" asked Max. "Your latest dalliance? Am I to understand you've let go of your futile chase for Rachel and turned your attention closer to home, to this…whore?"

Lorelai shook her head in disbelief. "Dad, what are you talking about?" she pleaded.

"I am NOT your father!" roared Max, and Lorelai was shocked to see fangs suddenly protruding from his mouth, little droplets of blood dripping from them. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Dad?" she implored, "dad!"

"Get in the back," said Luke to Lorelai. "Do it now." Lorelai looked at Luke and in that same moment, Max launched himself forward, landing on the counter and swiping at Luke, his right arm crunching into Luke's face and sending him backwards into the wall. Lorelai screamed, and ducked below the counter. She could hear the sounds of Max and Luke struggling - bodies crashing into furniture, glass breaking and cookware clanking to the floor. Suddenly Max went flying over the counter, thrown by Luke, and he crashed into a table, tearing it into sharp wooden splinters. Luke jumped onto Max and they rolled around on the floor. Lorelai swallowed her heart and hurried upstairs, locking herself in Luke's bedroom. Her breath was coming in short, hard bursts, painfully leaving her lungs. She wiped the tears from her eyes and listened carefully. The sounds continued from below, unabated. Lorelai picked up Luke's phone to dial 911, but there was no dial tone. "Stupid cordless phone," she said when she realized the battery was dead. Suddenly she had an inspiration. She grabbed a nearby baseball bat and ran downstairs into the midst of carnage.

* * *

The diner looked as though a tornado had passed through. The only part that wasn't utterly destroyed was the counter. Luke's feet was on the floor, but he was bent backwards with his back and head on the counter. Max was above him, his forearm pressed tightly across Luke's neck, trying to snap his neck. He knew it wouldn't kill Luke, but it would certainly buy some time. Luke was grunting with exertion and pain, but he couldn't budge Max. Lorelai put the bat down and reached into her pocket. She crouched beneath the counter, then sprang up, holding the cross on its chain in front of Max's face.

"Aaaugh!" cried Max, tearing at his eyes. Luke lifted himself up and pushed Max back with a huge concentration of effort. He grabbed Lorelai's hand and pulled her into the kitchen.

"Thanks," said Luke, "but you have to get out of here." Suddenly Lorelai shrieked as Max came crashing through the wall. He roared and the sound was chilling and full of rage. Lorelai ran to the stairs and grabbed the bat. Luke backed up and ducked as Max charged toward him again. Lorelai quickly handed Luke the bat and he turned to face Max just as Max was charging him again. Luke swung the bat with all the fury he could muster, and the wood crunched across Max's face. The sound of shattered bone filled the air as Max was driven backwards into the stove.

"He won't be down for long," said Luke. He pointed to the remains of his dining room. "Quick, grab one of those table legs." Lorelai nodded. She had just returned when an all-too-familiar guitar sound filled the diner, followed shortly by those fateful words.

_People are strange,  
When you're a stranger,  
Faces look ugly,  
When you're alone._

The diner was filled with vampires.

* * *

"Cover your eyes," said Luke, and Lorelai quickly did. Luke lifted Max and placed him on the counter. He reached below the stove and pulled out a mighty sledgehammer and raised it over his head like Thor. He placed the splintered end of the table leg on Max's chest and brought down the sledgehammer with all his strength. Max's legs began kicking violently and his eyes snapped open with such force that they burst out of their sockets. Lorelai held her hands over her ears, trying to quell the death shrieks of thirteen vampires, but it was to no avail. The agonized bellowing seemed to be coming from inside her head. It continued for a seeming eternity and Lorelai dared not open her eyes. Finally the shrieks died down to nothing and Lorelai slowly uncovered her eyes. Max was dead; his heart had swelled out of his chest and burst, covering Luke and Lorelai with foul matter. His death had brought about the deaths of the other vampires that had followed him to the diner, of course. They were no longer slaves to either Max or to the curse of immortality. Lorelai was shaking like a leaf.

"Thank God you had a sledgehammer handy," she said.

"Well," said Luke, "I used to run this place as a hardware store." He held up the sledgehammer. "And you just never know when a bunch of vampires are going to show up and screw with your entire day."

"Yeah," said Lorelai, almost chuckling. She looked at Max again and something occurred to her. "I have to use your phone, Luke."

"Now?" said Luke. "Why?"

"I have to call my father. I have to make sure that – thing – isn't him."

Luke exhaled, as though he had been holding his breath. "Of course," he said, tenderly. "Give him a call."

"Daddy?" said Lorelai the moment Richard picked up the receiver.

"Lorelai? What is it? You sound – strange."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, of course I am. But now I'm worried about you. What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she said, her voice breaking. "I just had a bad dream, that's all."

"Well, if you're sure. Listen, I'll see you on Friday for dinner, all right? Your mother needs me to cut a severance check to get rid of the new maid, so I've gotta run."

The line went dead.

"Thank God," said Lorelai. "There's no doubt that was him." She glanced at Max and then quickly turned around and buried herself in Luke's arms. She stood there a moment, sobbing a little, then gently pulled back.

"This place is a mess," she said, "and we are, too. Maybe we could go back to my place and get freshened up. I could use a hot shower."

"Me, too," said Luke.

A moment later, Luke had put up a 'gone fishing' sign and the diner was empty, save for a baker's dozen festering corpses.

* * *

An hour later, having showered together, they were sitting together in the bathtub, surrounded by candles. They soaped each other's backs and sipped wine with the leisure of a couple on a long-delayed night away from the kids.

"I need to explain," began Luke.

"Not now, Luke," said Lorelai. "This isn't the time." She leaned forward and kissed him, pushing her tongue against his own, and his tongue danced in delight at her touch. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her forward, deepening the kiss and then sliding his hands beneath her ass. She reached into the water and found that he was ready, and he lifted her up and placed her gently down again. She leaned farther forward, guiding her left breast into his mouth, and his tongue flicked and swirled and rolled across her nipple. His hips began to rise and fall with her motion and her breasts slid across his face. His manhood began to throb inside of her and he arched his back and began moaning, followed a moment later by Lorelai. All the way downstairs, Rory was lying in bed, giggling.

* * *

"Well, I'm free," said Luke the next morning over breakfast.

"What do you mean?" said Lorelai.

"I mean, with Max dead, I'm no longer a vampire."

Lorelai's eyes opened wide. "Really?"

"Really. He was the one who initiated me. He tricked me into drinking his blood. I was young, I thought it was wine. Anyway, he's gone, and I'm free. This means I'm all yours." He coughed politely. "If you'll have me," he added.

"Oh, I'll have you all right," said Lorelai. "I'll have you in here, in the bedroom, on the sofa, in front of the fireplace…wow, I never knew I could be so…_dirty!_"

"Nothing wrong with a little dirty from time to time."

"Luke, something just occurred to me. If killing Max killed those other vampires, why didn't it kill you?"

"It wasn't the same sort of initiation," said Luke. "I drank his blood from a cup, he drank their blood straight from their veins. He always had a touch of Oscar Wilde about him. Anyway, that difference meant Max's death freed me from vampirism, but it killed the other vampires. And…" He stopped, focusing on some distant point beyond Lorelai. She quickly guessed what he was thinking about.

"Rachel, too?" she asked.

"Yep. Rachel, too. But hey, let's not worry about that. It's ancient history."

"Luke, do you mind if I ask how you met Max?"

"It was at a party given by the Archbishop of Austria in Mozart's honor."

"You knew Mozart?" Lorelai interrupted.

"Yes, but only a little. The one composer I got to really know well was Chopin. Anyway,

Max was some sort of advisor to the emperor. I think they were cousins. Well, after the party, Max invited some of us to another get-together at his flat in Salzburg. I say flat, but it was more of an opium den. He gave me a glass of his blood, and I drank it in one gulp. I was probably a little drunk already or I would have noticed. But the party was busted up by the cops shortly after when the chief constable got word that his daughter was at the party, and Max never got a chance to bite me, thank God."

"Yeah, thank God." She leaned over the table and kissed Luke, then plopped back down in the chair. "So, what are you going to do about the diner?" she asked.

Luke sighed. "Clean it up, I guess."

"I was going to suggest hiring Kirk to do it. For money, he'll do just about anything, but I think this would fall into his 'exceptions' category."

"I just don't know what I'm going to do about the bodies," said Luke. "Bury them, I guess. Or maybe sink them at the bottom of the lake."

"Okay, now you're just squicking me out," said Lorelai. "But I'll make you a deal. You get rid of the bodies and I'll help you repaint."

"Deal," said Luke. "Now, are you ready for another little vampire story?"

"Always," said Lorelai.

"Did you ever see the movie _The Lost Boys?_"

"With Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah, years ago. It was pretty good."

"Here's what most people don't know. That movie is based on a true story. It happened in Manchester, England, in 1761, but it's true. And Max wrote the screenplay. He was also the adviser on the project. Now here's where it gets interesting. All the vampires in that movie are so convincing because they're real."

"No way!" said Lorelai. "Kiefer Sutherland is really a vampire? And Jami Gertz and Alex Winter and that little boy?"

"Absolutely. They're all vampires. And Max was cast, too, but it turns out that he's so bad an actor that he had to be replaced. They hired an actor named Edward Herrmann because _he looks exactly like Max!_ It turns out that he also looks a lot like your dad. Close enough to fool even you."

"The guy who was the head vampire and dated Dianne Wiest? You know, I _thought_ he looked familiar. That's insane, Luke!"

"Sure it is, because it's real."

They talked about it for a while longer until a force of nature overcame them.

* * *

After a marathon lovemaking session, Luke and Lorelai went back to the diner. Kirk was standing in front, trying to peer between the slats of the blinds.

"You're back!" said Kirk when he spied Luke.

"I'm still on vacation," said Luke, "so go away now." He opened the door and ushered Lorelai inside before Kirk could enter.

"But I left my wallet in there!" said Kirk.

"Later!" shouted Luke, and Kirk walked away, dejected.

"Hmm, let me see," said Lorelai, "what color goes with blood and entrails?"

"Blue, I think," said Luke, and Lorelai laughed. Luke picked up the minor vampires one-by-one and started stacking them in the kitchen, near the door where he could discretely load them into his truck at night.

"Well, it looks like Max is the only one left," said Luke. He tried to move the body, but Max was impaled to the counter by the spike.

There was a knock at the diner door. "Go away, Kirk!" shouted Luke.

"It's Richard Gilmore! I'm looking for my daughter, Lorelai."

Luke hurriedly covered Max with newspapers. Lorelai opened the door a bit and Richard pushed his way inside. He looked around and shook his head.

"What kind of a place _is_ this?" he asked.

"Luke had a minor accident," said Lorelai. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"Your phone call last night had me worried. Is everything okay? I'd think not, judging from the condition of this place."

"I'm fine, really," said Lorelai. "In fact, I was just leaving to buy paint to help Luke spruce the place up."

"A spruce won't do it," said Richard. "Maybe a blowtorch, or several sticks of dynamite. Anyway, I'll drive you. We can have lunch together."

"Okay," said Lorelai. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to say goodbye to Luke."

She disappeared into the kitchen. Richard looked around and his eye caught the glimmer of something on the ground. It was a fine gold pocket watch. Richard opened the case and read the engraving. "To Maximillian - you've made us all so proud. Love, Trix."

Richard's eyes opened wide and he quickly put the watch in his coat pocket. He walked up to the counter and lifted some of the newspapers, seeing Max's corpse.

"Ready to go," said Lorelai. "But I need to make a quick stop at the drug store. I've got a toothache all of a sudden." She and Richard left the diner and Lorelai ran her tongue over her back teeth. She wondered why two of them suddenly seemed longer.

_The End_


End file.
